Monday, June 21, 2010

3 hearts that will never be the same

Whew...what an emotional roller coaster this past week has been. With heavy hearts, we returned Braxton to his birth mother's arms 10 days after he was born. It's amazing how 10 days changed our lives forever. We said goodbye to Braxton with love and grace in our hearts not only for him but for "M" It is hard to comprehend the love we have for both of I am not mad or bitter at M for changing her mind...heartbroken- yes- but not angry. I truly believe she loves Braxton with all her being and she will be the best mother she knows how to be. Our agency will continue counseling her....isn't that awesome...they truly care about what is best for these kids, regardless if their birth families place or not, they want to give the parent's all the tools needed to raise a child in a healthy environment. I did text M on Saturday to check on Braxton and she said he was a perfect little angel...eating & sleeping very well...and even gave a "gas smile" when she told him I loved him. I am hoping to meet up with her in the next few weeks at the zoo for a play date. I really think that will help my would be easy to forget and turn our backs on her but that's not what we are called to do. We want to continue to show her the love of Christ.
On Friday afternoon, I was determined to find a locket...and this was perfect....3 hearts: John, Turner & Braxton. Thank you God for allowing our paths to cross with M's. Our lives will forever be blessed and never the same!
So when we were dropping Braxton off on Friday at the agency, this song by Josh Wilson came on...I've heard it many of times, but never really "listened" to it...It is now my new anthem!
Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?
Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see
Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming
so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on, just fight the good fight
because the pain you've been feeling, it's just the dark before the morning
My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture
My favorite part that hits home is
"the pain you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming"
That hope and prayer has gotten us thru the last few days....God has a plan in all of this heart ache...and we better hold on, because it's going to be AWESOME!!
So we've went to the zoo 3 times in 5 days!! Getting our money's worth for sure

Turner loves to sit in the grass and "hide" He is my jungle boy for sure!
Turner has discovered flavor ice and loves it!!
Thank you to all of our sweet family and friends for lifting us up in prayer the past 2 weeks...we have certainly felt God's presence and hands holding us through this entire journey. On Wednesday, I woke up with overwhelming peace in my heart...I knew something felt different but couldn't pin point it. After everything unfolded on Friday...I was reflecting back to Wednesday and how I dawned on me that God was guarding my heart....don't get me wrong...I still loved Braxton with all I had in me...but I do believe God was preparing me for what was about to happen. Isn't our God mighty...he met me where I was at, knowing all along the outcome of this journey

Monday, June 14, 2010

Peace fills my soul

It's hard to believe that a nearly a week has passed since our precious little Braxton came into this world. It's been such an amazing week with this little guy..he brings so much joy to our family. Please continue to lift up "M" in your prayers as her heart is aching. We pray she will have complete peace and feel God's presence like we have today and all the days ahead. John & I are so very thankful God brought her and her family into our lives....we will forever be blessed and never the same.

Braxton has beautiful blue eyes just like "M"

Turner has provided some much needed comical relief for us over the last few days...he decided it would be fun to get into the baby powder!

Me and my boys! This is such an incredible feeling!

Papa decided Turner needed a power drill and tools just like him...Turner was lovin it...goggles and all!

Pure sweetness

So Lexus decided to sleep under Braxton's bed to "protect" him..she did the same thing with Turner. Turner and Lolly thought it was pretty funny!

BFF already!
Such a good big brother! Turner loves to hold, burp, rock and feed Braxton.

Cousin Reese came by to visit and play with us on was adorable, her and Turner played follow the leader all around the house!

Pops and Turner waking up from nap time

Yes the matching outfits have begun!

Both of Turner's Great Grandma's

I love this one...just so peaceful...wonder what he's dreaming about

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Braxton Jude is here!!

Braxton Jude Satterfield was born at 5:10 am June 8. He weighed 6 lbs and 13 oz and was 19 inches long...perfect in every way. Blonde hair and blue eyes

A family of four now!! We were so excited to bring Turner to meet his little brother. He absolutely feel in love with him, saying mine and baby over and over again. He gave him many kisses, brought him a toy dog, and even helped me feed Braxton! For all that know me..this has been one of my biggest fears was how Turner was going to take it all in. But Aunt CC said he woke up this morning running around the house saying baby I think he is going to be just fine!!
So in love with my boys..can't you see that little sparkle in Turner's eyes

Such sweet lips and a little button nose!

Aunt CC jumped in the car on Monday evening and headed our way to keep Turner while Braxton was being's so awesome to have such a wonderful sister that I didn't have to worry one bit about Turner because I knew he was having a blast with Crystal. Sis-I LOVE you so much more than words can ever describe!!! You've been my life savor.

Proud grandma and grandpa Satterfield. M has been such a tropper letting everyone come up to see our little Braxton. Can you tell they are beaming with pride?

After Braxton's bath time! Is he not just a little angel.

I am going to devote an entire blog to this incredible women....but not today...I'm going to make you wait. All I can say is I am HUMBLED to my knees at this women's love for Braxton and us. I have no doubt God is going to bless her and her precious family abundantly. Speaking of her family...I'll post pictures later too..but let me tell you they are AMAZING! I feel like we have known them for years...we are all so excited to be extending our families. Her mom and sister are incredible!

Blessed beyond belief

I can't wait to share what the last few days have been like for us...but I am sitting in the hospital and will update in a few's fair to say this was a million times more amazing than I ever dreamed of. There are lots of angels in this world, and our birthmom and adoption agency are 2 VERY BIG ones.