On Saturday, John & I with approx 15 other couples attended the 2nd Trans racial parenting class hosted by our incredible adoption agency! This workshop was a breath of fresh air. There was a panel made up of a set of parents who have 4 children, 3 of which are bi-racial and adopted, one women who has inter-racial marriage and 3 bi-racial daughters and 2 adopted children (both in their 30's) who grew up in a trans racial family...yes I know it's all confusing!I could write a novel about all the lessons I learned...but the key message that really hit home with me was when Patrick (who was one of the adults who was adopted and grew up in a trans racial home) talked about how he was "Color blind." And put the question back in our court...are we truely color blind? Now the definition of color blind he was reffering to was not in the fashion we typically use the word. His color blindness was defined as he chooses not to focus on the color of a person's skin but chooses to focused on whether or not someone is a good person.
Skin color is an important part of our heritage but it shouldn't define who we are. Our personality, love for God, morals, etc should ultimately define who each of us are. It breaks my heart to think someone would not be friends with Turner or later on in life want to date/marry him because the color of his skin. I think we have come a long way with this issue, but there is still work to be done. So a challenge to us all, let's look past the color of some one's skin and look into their hearts & souls. That is what makes us each special! John & I have committed to raising a Strong Child of God! period :)
6 comments:
Wow, that gave me chills! Molly told me how awesome it was too, and she mentioned the same gentleman that you did!
I have learned so much from Molly and you...thanks for sharing!
Great post, my friend. I read your posts, but have never commented. Just wanted to say thanks for the note and that you and John are as much the angels in your little angel Turner! Tell your man I said hi and give that little one a hug and kiss from us!
Chassidy, both you and John are so amazing. As I set here with a lump in my throat, I am ashamed to say that I have been color blind until God brought Turner into our lives. God made such a difference in all of our lives because of Turner. How amazing is our God!!! I just thank both of you for opening the doors for us not to judge a person on the color of skin they have. I love you more today than yesterday....Mama-Lolly....
Chassidy,
Beautiful post. The workshop that you all attended sounds awesome. This world would be a much better place if everyone practiced your lifestyle of being colorblind.
Sadly, most people do not practice not focusing in on color/race and incidents are brought about early on in little peoples lives.
You are so right, all parents can do is try to raise their child to be color blind and to be more and more like Christ. I am sure that the workshop was awesome.
Okay, so I thought of a couple things. Number one, we don't need to worry about our kids dating and being accepted. Let's just arrange a marriage between Sadie and Turner. Problem solved, right? Second, I just read your mom's precious comment and couldn't agree more. I am so humbled by her honesty. So many of our parents friends have learned that something they wondered about (if skin did matter) has been answered by little Turner's and Cooper's coming into their lives. I have been amazed to see how many people when being honest have once thought it did matter, and then by the love of a child realized it simply doesn't. It's just skin. Thanks Lolly for being honest, what integrity you have.
Love you girl and am beyond blessed to have you to walk through this journey with!!! BTW, that book brings me to tears almost everytime I read it. The boys have picked it the last several nights.
Chass, I’ve been saying the same thing for years!!! Love is not a color- it’s a feeling that no one can take from you! Yesterday we read a story in class about a train of orphans going from town to town waiting to be adopted. Well of course, I showed my class the photo of you and John at the hospital holding Turner! Yes, my eyes filled with tears too, but I shared with them the AMAZING gift God placed into your lives to share with the world...
I have a class of 94% African. Am. and not one child commented on the color of your skin or Turners. They asked question like "does he know his birth mother," "will he grow up in a better home," "does he talk," and another comment that made me SMILE..."you can tell his is VERY happy!" AND we all know the answer to that:) At times like this, I always think of one part in the book The Shack...God doesn’t create monsters, we all start out the same...its we do as individuals that makes us extraordinary! The world needs to Take off their shades and see all the magnificence colors God created in his image!!!
With lots of love,
Aunt CC
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